Since I shared my backstory I have been getting questions about aspects of my journey. It is a doozy I am not going to lie. One of the questions I am getting the most is about is Hypnotherapy and programming. How we create our reality. It’s a big deal to wake up to the idea that we are the one who is creating the experiences we are having. Things aren’t happening to us; we are creating them, and they are happening for us.
WTF!!!
YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT I HAVE THE POWER TO ALTER REALITY? LIKE DOCTOR STRANGE, INCEPTION STYLE?
Ya that is what I am saying. I will explain more later. You’re going to have to wait for it.
First let me tell you how I got to this realization in the first place.
Let’s gather in a circle, it’s story time. Get your blanket, pillow, your favourite cup of tea and get cozy.
We are going to rewind back to 2015. It was wintertime in Vancouver BC, Canada. It was dark, cold and rainy as usual.
Oh wait, you thought I was going to tell you it was winter wonderland.
HELL NO! Didn’t you hear me say Vancouver, BC!
I live in the tropics of Canada. I know the thought process is that all of the Canada is covered in a blanket of snow for 6–8 months of the year. Which might be true for the rest of the country.
Vancouver is the exception. I live in a place where throughout the whole winter it rains. I live in a rainforest!
We get 2 snowfalls over the winter. One in December around Christmas if we are lucky and the other in February, just to annoy us.
The snow falls and it feels like winter wonderland for a hot minute. The kids all run out with their sleds and build their forts and snow men. Make their snow angels and have snowball fights. It all has to happen in a day cause the next day that beautiful white snow is dangerous slippery slush.
The adult people who have to drive cars on the roads of Vancouver just love it! NOT!!!
Imagine a lovely rainy, wet, cold, dark winter night. I’m chilling in my purple unicorn onesie which I like to do when it’s cold.
I’m playing Angry Birds on my phone. Not the regular one where you hurl the birds at stuff. The puzzle one. I love puzzle games. Angry Birds is interrupted by a call. It’s someone at a hospital.
I’m thinking “Why am I getting a rando call from a hospital at night?”
The lady on the other end of the phone says, “Are you Martin Woodington’s daughter?”
I say “Yes”
She responds with…
OMG WTF has happened to my father.
Are you kidding me!
Is this really happening right now?
What is she going to say?
I don’t need this right now!
My life is just starting to get back on track and this woman is going to hit me with a S*#^ STORM I can feel it.
OMG HERE WE GO!!!
THE ANXIETY FLIES THROUGH THE ROOF!!!
All of these thoughts fly through my brain in less than a second. You know when an accident happens, and time slows down and you have a bunch of thoughts run through your brain in an instant. That was totally me in that moment. I just knew I was going to be hit with a massive sledgehammer.
Ok back to real time…
The nurse responds with “Your father is in the hospital. He made an attempt on his life and we have him here and he asked us to call you.”
There’s the SLEDGEHAMMER RIGHT TO THE HEAD!
I was in shock!
I didn’t even know what to say or think. I just stood still in time like I was in some kind of time warp and I was stuck.
Then…
SNAP!
My Cariad (love of my life in Welsh) receives a phone call while he is trying to figure out why I am in a time warp.
His mother calls him and tells him that his father and her are in Toronto. They went to the hospital for testing. He turned yellow and became very lethargic. They couldn’t figure out why. So, they drove from Cochrane Ontario (8 hours north) to Toronto to go to a good hospital so he could get testing done.
She told him he was diagnosed with Liver Cancer and he was going to have to go for surgery IMMEDIATELY!
We both sat down on the tile floor of the kitchen in shock not knowing how to process what happened.
How did both of our fathers go sideways at the same time?
We couldn’t even. Like couldn’t even!
We made ourselves a tea and collected ourselves, so we weren’t driving to the hospital to see my father in fight or flight. The last thing we needed was for us to get into an accident because we got on the road after being hit in the head with a huge sledgehammer.
We were both compromised and in shock.
We got up and went to see my father. He had attempted to end his life by starving himself. I don’t know if you have ever tried not eating before.
I have and I lasted about 2 days before I was in soooo much pain I had no choice but to eat. I did it out of vanity of course cause I’m a pretty girl who is driven to look hot for all the peeps. Totally different driver!
If you have ever tried to starve yourself, you will know how hard it is to end your life by not eating. It’s nearly impossible to be successful going that route.
It was clearly a cry for help.
I talk to the nurse who set up an appointment for him to see a shrink. The shrink accessed him and decided that he needed to be placed in a facility where he could be watched and receive help.
We got him all set up in the facility and made sure everything was good with my father. WHICH WAS A HUGE EXPENSE I DIDN’T ANTIPATE!
When that was all said and done Scott’s father had come out of surgery and they told us that they were able to get rid of the cancer but his liver was in really bad shape. They needed to put him on dialasis and he needed to be on life support. We were hoping with the support that his liver would start to recover and he would make it through.
We were told it could go either way so we spent more money that we weren’t planning on spending which added a lot of stress. We flew to Toronto.
We went to go see his father in the hospital. A lot of the time we were sitting there chilling in a big waiting area with other people that had a family member also in ICU. I visited with Scott’s family. The only thing that was weird about the scenario was we were in a hospital. Otherwise, it would just be a normal visit with the fam.
Then I was invited to go in and see Scott’s father Randy in ICU. They made us wash and sanitize. We had to wear a mask and gloves so we didn’t’ contaminate anything. We were walked past sooo many people hooked up to all the machines. I have never seen anything like it before. I was like walking through a BORG ship.
I know my nerd is showing. Didn’t you know I am a hot nerd!
Then I saw Randy!
Hooked up to all the machines, unconscious, looking barley alive. I’m not going to lie it was one of the scariest things I have ever seen in my life.
I had to scream inside and look calm and collected on the outside to support Scott. Who was seeing his own father in that state. It was SOOOOO triggering for me. I can’t image how it was for Scott to be seeing the man who loved and raised him in that state.
He always told me that his father was an OX and nothing could take him down. He looked up to his father and saw him as invincible. There he was, in a bed, weak, frail, hooked up to so much we couldn’t make sense of it all.
Going through my father trying to end his life and Scott’s father being being diagnosed with liver cancer threw me over the edge.
When the call came in I was dealing with injuries from a major car accident that had taken me out of me own life. I was just starting to get my life back together.
I had a business doing eyelash extensions that was making me ok money. I was living with my sister and her two kids helping her out after she had left her husband after 8 years of marriage.
I had a new relationship with Scott. We had been together about 2 years and he moved in with me. Things were starting to look up.
THAN THIS…
I didn’t know how to cope to be honest.
It was way more than I could handle.
I paced the halls of that hospital for hours not knowing how to make sense of everything.
I asked Scott to talk a walk with me and I told him…
“I feel like an egg that will crack if you tap me with your pinky finger. I’M NOT OK!”
He told me that there was a 24 line that I could call to talk to someone if I wanted support.
He worked in the oil capital of Canada at the time. Fort MacMurray!
He was a part of a union and that amazing coverage.
I called that number and paced the halls of the hospital alone talking to the person on the other end of the line for like 3 hours just venting everything.
I was told they would set me up with an appointment to see someone when I got home.
After a week in Toronto with no change to Randy’s state we had to go home and deal with my father, so we left and went home.
to be continued…