Elements that can make or break your success!
Do you feel like you are running around like a chicken with your head cut off and you just can’t seem to get focused to get things done in your business?
Do you feel like you are being pulled in too many directions and everyone wants something from you?
Do you feel like you just can keep up with everything you have going on and you are in a state of overwhelm?
Are you ready to hit the ground running with your business but don’t know how to create traction?
I can totally relate to how you feel and here is why!
I just went through a huge move in the last two weeks. I moved from a house that was about 4000 square feet. It had 3 floors, 7 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, 3 living rooms, 3 dining rooms, 2 kitchens, and more. This house was huge!
I moved into that house 4 years ago because I wanted to help my aunt who was living in a really bad situation in East Vancouver. I had an idea that helping her was a good thing. haha! I don’t know what I was thinking. She needed to have her own suite that had separation from upstairs. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to rent a whole house and find a place that has a door separating the upstairs and downstairs.
We looked for a solid month and finally we found this huge house just 5 mins from my old place. I was really excited of course because I was one step closer to the city and I was inching my way closer and closer to the city after spending my childhood growing up in the outskirts of Vancouver. I always dreamt of living in the city and being hugely rich and successful.
This house was literally stone’s throw from the boundary of the city. It felt like I was one step from success and wealth. I mean this house had a marble winding staircase. A foyer with a massive chandelier dangling from the 50′ ceiling with a skylight.
My master bedroom had a jetted jacuzzi soaker tub. I had the walk-in closet. The house felt like luxury. It made me feel rich even though I wasn’t there yet. Oh, the parties I was going to have. This house was clearly meant for entertaining. I was so excited to be moving up in the world. I always dreamt of living in a beautiful house like this when I was a child living in a small townhouse, sharing a room with my sister, sleeping on the top bunk.
It all seemed so perfect. I didn’t have enough furniture to fill this beautiful house. I had to get more stuff!
Everyone was so happy for me and of course, loved the house, and encouraged me on the path. No one telling me this was a path that could lead to death and destruction.
Now let’s not forget I hadn’t made it huge in my healing business yet. Awakened Body was still a baby and growing. In fact, in many ways, it still is. At this present moment it’s being reborn online. I didn’t have the money to pay the almost $5000 per month it was going to cost to rent this mansion of a house stone’s throw from the city.
I found a way to make it happen of course because I am determined. My aunt rented the basement suite and we had people rent the other rooms to make up the rest of the rent. I was living in a mansion paying a very small portion if the rent. It was so perfect!
Why doesn’t everyone do this?
You can live in your dream home for a fraction of the cost others pay running themselves into the ground to maintain. I thought I had it figured out. HAHAHA! Again, I had a lot to learn.
I lived in that house for 4 years almost to the day!
Over those 4 years I did host a lot of parties and get togethers. I even did artisan shows. I had a bunch of artisan friends get together and set up tables in my house for free and we invited people to come buys their stuff. Everything they made they got to keep. I just wanted to provide a place for them to sell their stuff.
It worked out well for me, don’t get me wrong. They gifted me beautiful things!
I am walking away from that place with a lot of good memories. There is no doubt about it.
The thing I didn’t know was that I was creating something in my life that was going to really slow me down when it came to the progression of my financial dreams.
That house that I thought was going to get me one step closer to wealth and success was just the opposite.
There were many reasons living in that place was, how do I put this…
a huge learning experience that has massively changed what I want out of life.
The thing about living in that massive house was.
Someone had to clean it!
Which brings me to the first thing that can sabotage your business success
1. Your home
If you are living in a home that is more than you can chew. You are going to become a slave to that house to maintain it. Especially if you don’t have the money to hire someone to clean it. If you did what I did and you bring in a bunch roommates, you are going to have to clean up after them or constantly be on them to help clean. That is a chore in itself. A huge house is a massive time sucker. We are sold the idea that success means a big luxurious house. It’s such a lie. It is just a bigger box to put more stuff than you need in that you now must spend way more time cleaning and maintaining.
I made the choice to downsize big time when I moved this time. I am on the top floor of a normal sized house. The house has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 1 living room, 1 dining room (that I am not using as a dining room), 1 kitchen, umm and that is it. We do have a nice big front and back yard though. I can’t believe how perfect it really is. I have only been here for a week, and I already love it. I feel a sense of peace already. Letting go of the stress of knowing I am going to walk down my marble staircase, through the house to the kitchen in the back part of the house to a disaster of a kitchen, that I am going to have to clean before I can even make my morning tea and start my day, is such a relief.
I can clean my kitchen before I go to sleep and when I get up in the morning, walk down the hall to the kitchen to make my cream of earl grey tea, the kitchen is still clean. It’s a miracle!
I have so much less work to do before I can sit down and do what I am inspired to do when I woke up in the morning. This morning I woke up early in the morning. My brain turned on and I started writing this blog post in my mind. I was inspired to write again. It was so exciting. I jumped out of bed at 7:00am. I walked the few steps I must walk, (no staircase at all) to the kitchen. I put water, ice, and daily multi-vitamin supplement in my tumbler. I made my cream of earl grey tea and in 5 minutes I was in front of the computer writing.
That hasn’t happened since I moved into that MASSIVE HOUSE!
I had no idea what a time suck that house was going to be!
Which brings me to the next thing.
We need to learn to protect out time as entrepreneurs. Our time is worth money. Wasting time cleaning a big house. Chasing after roommates who are creating way more mess, and not cleaning up after themselves, is such a time killer. The bigger the house, the more people live in it, the bigger the mess that must be cleaned.
I can’t believe how much time I wasted cleaning that kitchen 3 times a day. Constantly picking up after the people in the house. I felt like the only one who cared that the house was clean. In fact, every time I got sick, left town, or got too wrapped up in my work and didn’t clean, my house became a write off.
I was the one who cared the most about the state of the house. This of course turned me into a nag. I had to chase everyone around for 4 years telling them to do their dishes, clean the kitchen, take their packaging from their delivered food to the recycling, clean the bathroom, sweep, and mop the floors, and on and on and on.
It truly never stopped. I felt like a mother of a whole household of children. I only gave birth to one of them and yet somehow, I had many!
It was crazy making.
I know I had heard the concept that your time is worth money. However, I also thought success meant living in a big house. So, I thought I was moving in the right direction getting this massive house. I didn’t realize I was sabotaging myself so hard.
You need to protect your time fiercely. Look at all the things you are doing that are wasting your time. Time you could be spending building your empire.
If you have the money to hire a house cleaner to take care of your place, then get a big place. It’s totally up to you. I personally came to the realization that I never want to live in a large place again. I appreciate the simplicity that comes with a smaller house. I want nice things. That is never going to change. However, the dream I had of living in the city in a big, beautiful house has been released.
My time is more valuable, and I can have everything I want in a smaller home. We don’t realize how much all things we collect to fill a big house that can become a time sucker as well. Wow was it ever an undertaking downsizing.
I didn’t realize how much stuff we had accumulated until we had to go through it all. Sadly, there were things in the house that I had never seen before and had no idea how it had ended up in the house. Everything we didn’t want we donated, sold, or took to the dump.
I am embarrassed to admit how much stuff left the house that I didn’t want. I don’t know how many times we were asking “Is this yours? Do you know who’s this is? Where did this even come from?”
Which brings me to the next thing on the list.
I moved into that house to rescue my aunt who I thought needed help. I thought if anyone deserved help when I was able to, it was her. I was wrong. I was very wrong. You can’t rescue anyone. Let me say that first. I think this was the final experience that helped me nail that lesson into place.
We must rescue ourselves.
You can empower, cheerlead, support, and encourage people. Rescuing them however just seems to create a nightmare for everyone every time.
The person who you are rescuing has lessons to learn from the refining fire they are currently in, and they are going to resist you and fight you when you rescue them as a result.
It’s subconscious resistance. There is a piece of them that knows they should be the one to take themselves out of the mud. So, they resist you and even hurt you, run back into the mud and either come out of it on their own or stay there till the day they die. Either way, it’s their life, their lessons and we can’t mess with them.
When I moved my aunt in, she quickly took over the place, telling me how to decorate, and how to clean. She came up at all hours and spent hours talking to us. There were no boundaries at all. Which was totally my fault. I didn’t realize that I needed to establish them.
I ended up writing her an email composed with soooo much thought and care. I even sent it to my sister to make sure there was no emotion involved. I sent an email requesting she ask before coming upstairs. There was more to it than that as there were other things as well. However, I was super respectful about it.
She didn’t like what was written and chose not to talk to me for the duration of the time we lived in that house. For three and a half years she gave me the silent treatment.
My Cariad (Love) Scott had to be the go between during that time. I felt so bad for him but there was nothing I could do about it.
I made the mistake of trying to rescue family before, and I really thought I had learned my lesson. Yet I had done it all over again with my aunt and it blew up in my face.
In hindsight maybe I should have decided to move a lot sooner instead of allowing things go to on for three and a half years the way it did. However, I felt bad for her and didn’t think she could find a better living situation on her own. So, I let it go on for way too long to my detriment.
I swear I have learned my lesson this time. This is the last time I rescue family!
Which leads me to the next thing!
When you live with a lot of people there can be a lot of drama that goes with it. We had to deal with the drama that came along with my aunt. She is very much running drama seeking programs so even though I wasn’t talking to her there seemed to be no stop drama coming from the basement suite that made its way upstairs through Scott.
I was living with a couple as well in the upstairs portion of the house. My one roommate had a serious issue with alcoholism. I didn’t know when she moved in that she had a serious substance abuse issue. It seemed clear that she like to have a drink when she was finished work. We notice quickly that there were beer cans being left all over the house.
Over time we came to realize that she was drinking from the moment she woke up till she passed out at night. Over the time we were living together things got to the point where she ended up having to go to detox. She did one round detox that didn’t stick. A few months later she went back again and went from there, to rehab. She spent 3 months in rehab and while she was there, Scott and I made the choice that we had been through enough and it was time to find a new place for just us.
I had never lived with someone that dealt with substance abuse issues. Neither of my parents were drinkers. We didn’t have cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs in our home at all because we were mormon. I am truly grateful for that to be honest.
It was hard living with an alcoholic. I never want to do that again. It was a great firsthand learning experience for me as a healer though, I will say that.
The drama that came along with my aunt and roommates was a lot and it was a huge time and energy sucker. I have been here all but a week and I can’t believe the change of energy in this little house. The lack of drama is REAL!
Be aware of the people in your life who are seeking and creating drama.
Which brings me to the next thing.
Do you have any relationships in your life that are sucking your time and energy?
I am very fortunate to have a Cariad (Love) who very much contributes to my life. He has made my life easier since the first day I met him. When I first met Scotty, I was severely concussed from a major car accident. I was single at the time of my car accident. Once in a while I did attempt to go out on a date because I got lonely. Every time I went out with a guy, I regretted it!
They always made my constant headache worse not better. Then my sister introduced me to Scott and for the first time the burden was lighter. I still made him work for 4 months to get me because I wasn’t really interested. My idea of men and love was rather jaded at that point in my life. I wasn’t easy to win over.
We have been together for 8 years now and he really does always lighten the burden and make things easier. He is also my biggest cheerleader. I am blessed to have him in my life.
Ask yourself, does my lover make my life easier or does this person suck my time and energy?
Do what is right for you from a place of self-love!
Do you have friendships that are taking your time and energy?
Since I became a healer, I created healthy boundaries around friendships. I am not friends with people who are not on the path of personal expansion. I just can’t be around people who have “Hound dog on a nail syndrome” I find because I am always talking about healing and expanding, people who are in a victim mentality find it difficult to be around me. It challenges their state too much and if they want to keep blaming the world for their circumstances, I am not good for them.
You might find there are friends you have that are constantly surrounded by drama. You might have a friend or two that do nothing but whine and complain about all the horrible things that are going on in the world and their life.
You might have friends who are always calling you to get you to help them with one thing or another and you find yourself feeling really drained after conversations or after spending time with them.
In the interest of protecting your time and energy. Look at those people are in your life. Even make a list. Really look at whether these people are contributing to your life and helping you create more energy to be successful or if they are to your detriment.
Are they taking your energy and time and wasting them?
Do you wonder where the time went when you see them?
Do you find yourself going into a time warp in a bad way?
Do you come out feeling like there is so much you could have done that you didn’t get done and now your way behind?
From a place of self-love maybe it’s time for a friendechtomy!
When I was working as an esthetician in a little spa in 2012, I wanted more for my life. I dreamt of helping people on a much deeper level. My self-worth and fear of failure is what paralyzed me.
It wasn’t till my car accident and being forced to survive that I created a life that I dreamed I would live. I was forced to show myself what I was made of.
Before I lived in the big, beautiful house a stone’s throw from the city, I didn’t see myself worthy of it.
I am not going to lie I was in disbelief when I first stepped foot into the house to see it. I didn’t think the owner would accept me. To my surprise I locked down the house right away with no issues. It was too easy!
When I moved in, I felt like the house was beyond me.
“Rich people live here not me.”
“I’m not successful enough to live here.”
“I don’t deserve this.”
“I’m a fraud and everyone in the neighbourhood is going to know I don’t belong here.”
After living there for 4 years I realized that it’s just a house. We are told it gives us status. It’s a really huge trap!
Living there doesn’t make me better than anyone else. Living in that neighbourhood doesn’t make those people better than anyone else.
We tie so much of our self-worth to how we are presenting ourselves.
Our job, house, car, beautiful husband/wife, children, designer clothes, PhD, and of course we must make it rain money.
None of that is truly what give you a sense of self-worth. You come to realize it when you have it all and yet you still feel lack. It’s not enough. You must do more, be more, have more. It never stops.
Nothing you earn, buy, or acquire from an outside source is going to give you self-worth. Which is why you are never going to feel satisfied.
I should know!
On my healing journey after my car accident, I came to the realization that resolution comes from within. Self-worth comes from knowing that I am a Goddess, a Divine Being with a greater purpose than to consume.
I am here to flood the earth with love. That is my mission!
What I buy, earn, and acquire means nothing in the end if I haven’t done that.
Discovering what I decided to do before I came down to this earth changed my focus. It’s not about consuming for recognition anymore. It’s not about being worthy of things on this planet.
The only question I am asking myself is “What is the next step I have to take to flood the earth with love before I die?”
My worth is firmly rooted within, which means I love myself without having to ask anyone if I am worthy. I will no longer as permission or forgiveness. I don’t need anyone’s permission to be a sexy Goddess!
I will unapologetically live in my truth and walk the path I designed for myself in my Divine State being fully connected to Universal Truth, knowing All!
My security is within knowing that I can survive anything after coming out of that car accident. My external circumstances can change, and I know I will always be ok. My house can burn down, and I will find a new place to live. My relationships can end, and I will create new ones.
There is no point in creating security externally as nothing is static. Anything external can change. You can buy a house and an earthquake, fire, tsunami, tornado can take it down. We could have a recession and you will be forced to walk away from your home because all your investments are suddenly worth nothing.
You can get married till death do you part to create security. Ten years later your life partner who made a vow to love and cherish you till death do you part betrays you by sleeping with someone who is validating them in a way you aren’t. Suddenly you find yourself destroyed, in a messy divorce, fighting for guardianship of your children, splitting up assets and making lawyers rich.
When security comes within you can have an inner peace knowing that nothing is permanent, and you have what it takes to always survive whatever is thrown at you.
You got this baby cakes!
7. Your Job!
Do you have a job?
Do you feel a calling to do something to make the world a better place?
Are you working towards a dream so you can quit your job and do it full time?
Maybe you haven’t even started to work towards your dream, and you are telling yourself when the time is right you are going to take the leap!
If you are feeling that calling and you are working a full-time job, or maybe even more than full time job, it’s sabotaging you!
Think about how much more time you could be spending creating success if you didn’t have to spend 40–90 hours per week at your job.
The average person puts 40 hours per week into someone else’s dream. People like my Cariad (Love) Scott work 90 hours a week in film. At the end of the day all he has time for is not enough sleep and then he’s back to it.
I promise I am going to retire him.
I am not telling you to quit your job right this second. However, I want you to be clear that you job is slowing you down.
If you are feeling a calling, there’s a reason love!
You are a…Love Warrior!
You are hinting to yourself that you are here to do more!
More than whatever you are doing.
Let me ask you a question.
Does what you’re doing fill your soul?
Do you wake up before the alarm to start doing The Thing?
I didn’t even have an alarm set cause it’s Sunday, and I woke up at 7:00am because I was inspired and needed to get up and write.
If you said no to both of those questions, maybe it’s time to create an exit plan.
Don’t you think you deserve to do something that really makes you happy?
If you aren’t there yet, that’s totally ok.
Start on a Self-Love Journey. When you are there and you are ready to jump off the cliff and grow your wings on the way down, then jump and invest in that passion project.
If you want to invest in your dreams full time at some point, then sit down and really map out how that is going to happen.
What steps are you going to have to take to quit your job and live off your dream project?
How long is it realistically going to take?
I know some people who just gave notice at their job and figured it out. They pulled the safety net out from under their feet, so they had to sink or swim.
One of my girlfriends moved from Vancouver to Bali. Quit her 10-year career in make-up artistry. In Bali she had no connections to fall back on to get a make-up gig. She started a life coaching business and had to pay her bills doing it or starve.
She has now lived all over the world and has a thriving coaching business and currently lives in Mexico.
So, you have three choices.
- Go on a Self-Love Journey
- Create and exit plan and DO IT!
- Quit your job and sink or swim
Ok, let’s revisit the 7 ways we sabotage ourselves in business again, shall we?
1. Your home
Choose a home that is easy to care for. Create a sanctuary, a place of peace where you can focus and get work done.
Protect your time fiercely. Figure out how much your time is worth per hour. If the thing you are thinking about doing is worth less than you would get paid to do it, delegate.
Are there are family members I am trying to please?
Am I holding back for fear of family judgement?
Are any family members I am trying to rescue to my detriment?
You are no one’s performing monkey. Do what is right for you and let them judge.
Let go of trying to rescue your family. Invest in YOU! Love and encourage your family to thrive and let them rescue themselves.
Is there anyone in my life that is bringing drama?
Do I have any drama seekers in my life?
Do I have any people in my life that have hound dog on a nail syndrome?
Cut them out, distance yourself, create boundaries, protect yourself! If there are people in your life that you love very much that are in this headspace, create boundaries to protect yourself and your energy. You deserve space, peace to have clarity to create brilliance.
Are all the relationships in my life lifting me up, nourishing me, supporting me on my path to make the world a better place?
If they are then “Way to go!”
If there are relationships you are aware of that are taking your time and energy, end them, or create boundaries.
Do what is right for you and don’t apologize!
You don’t have to apologize for doing what you must do to protect yourself so you can life your life’s purpose.
Choose yourself first, take care of yourself, your health and wellness. When you are overflowing with love and energy, you can support those you love and want to hold space for.
“DO I UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE MYSELF?”
If the answer is no, start walking the path to work towards that and everything else will fall into place as you find your worth. If you don’t know where to look, I will give you resources to take the first step.
7. Your job
Is this job the thing I want to do till I retire?
When I am on my death bed and I look back, will I be happy that I did _______________ with my life?
If you said no to both of those questions, NOW is the time to make a change!
Take the first step towards living a life that feeds your soul.
To Start a Self-Love Journey, you can download the FREE 30-Day Self-Love Challenge here: CLICK HERE
To learn how to reprogram your mind for Self-Love with me as your guide for as much as you would pay for a cocktail: CLICK HERE
To download my FREE Secret Success Strategy: CLICK HERE
All the Unconditional Love,
Harmony Woodington C.Ht.