1. You’re doing it for someone else.
We are driven in our society to seek the approval of others. There is also a deep-seated instinct to fit in with the tribe for survival. Back in the caveman days that instinct kept us alive.
In current times it causes us to do things like get breast and ass implants, get needles injected in our face to get rid of wrinkles or get a sexy pair of duck lips.
Here is the BIGGEST issue with creating that hot bod for someone else.
When you are single and you are on the prowl, you will keep it toight so you can lock down your mate.
When you lock one down and you feel secure.
You put on weight because there is no need to keep it toight anymore.
That is why soooo many get fat when they get married. I have seen it happen so many times.
I know too many cute young women who were hot when they were on the prowl and they got married. They disappeared cause Newly weds bliss. When they resurface, they are no longer recognizable. It looks like shamu swallowed them.
It’s no one’s fault of course. The person who puts that weight on once they feel comfortable doesn’t say to herself.
“OK I am married, so I don’t have to look hot anymore. QUICK GET THE ICE CREAM, CHOCOLATE AND COOKIES!”
It’s subconscious. Most people don’t even stop and think about what drives their behaviour in the first place.
They are too busy trying to survive and maybe thrive in today’s world where we are bombarded with soo many images of what we have to be, do and have to be desirable.
You are never going to rid yourself of the instinct to fit in with the tribe. That instinct is as strong as the need to eat, drink and have sex.
It’s not about trying to rid yourself of the desire to fit in so you will stop doing things for someone else. It’s about making the choices from a place of self-love. Create a body that makes you happy and is healthy. When you have discovered what that is, create your own tribe that have the same ideals as you.
You are the sun and the people in your life revolve around you. Use your powerful gravitational pull to call the people in who are going to support you on your mission to be healthy and self-loving.
2. You’re trying to meet a societal standard that YOU truly believe YOU will never achieve.
If you look back at the last 100 years of human history, the idea that was dictated to us as to what was sexy changed with every decade.
If society or the powers that be are going to change their minds every 10 years then what the point in is playing. I am not going to go get an ass implant and then when it’s not in anymore go have it taken out and be left with a saggy ass. Oh, that sounds super fun.
Who knows what the side effects are going to be of all the needles that are being put in women’s faces today? The massive lips they are getting done.
The current trend seems to be an Audrey Hepburn waste with huge breasts, hips and soooo much junk in the trunk. It’s the hourglass figure on crack.
I personally have great curves but there is no way in hell that I could create a body like that naturally. I know there are so many women and especially young women who haven’t even developed their curves yet, who are looking at this current idea of beauty and saying to themselves.
“How the hell am I going to make myself look that without getting massive amounts of work done.”
It’s insanely unrealistic. It reminds me more of the girls you see in anime shows.
Now that we have moved into a new decade with it being 2021, expect the trend to change.
So, if we know there is going to be a new desirable look dictated to us every 10 years, why bother?
Instead of letting the “Powers That Be” decide what you should look like. Look at your body in the mirror, get clear on what body type you have. Then go on a journey to get to know your body. Get clear on what you want to create that is in harmony with the body that you chose to be in for this life.
Honour the vessel you chose by working with it instead of hating it because society said you should look a certain way.
Be aware that as you are creating this ideal, your body is always changing. Be ok with that and adapt as you age. You can be beautiful and sexy at any age.
We are raised in a world where SOOO MANY companies are trying to sell to us are sending us the message that we aren’t enough. Then they can sell us on the idea that we will be way more desirable and popular in society if we buy their product.
The Axe body spray is a great example. They were selling this insane idea that if you sprayed their deodorant on, out of nowhere all the HOTTEST chicks will throw themselves at you.
The idea that we aren’t enough is just an insane as the idea that all the hot chicks are going to throw themselves at you because of pit stick.
Being bombarded by all these companies literally selling to us from the time we are born. Nerf guns and all the latest toys that will make us the coolest kid on the playground. As adults Luis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada, Ferrari, Maserati, Jaguar and of course don’t forget to spray on some Axe to top it off.
We are very deeply programmed with the idea of not being enough on our own. We have to have all these things to be accepted in society.
Couple that with mommy and daddy issues, a challenging childhood for so many other reasons. I am not even going start down that path. It seems to be next to impossible to grow up confident and self-assured.
It’s even worse today than it was when I was growing up in the 80’s & 90’s. I didn’t have a cell phone with social media messing with my self-worth growing up.
So, when we look at you attempting to create a beautiful, healthy, lean and strong body, it makes it very difficult to be successful.
You are going to struggle if you are creating a body from self-loathing and hating what you are looking at in the mirror with deep programming dictating “YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH”.
Instead of telling yourself that you will be worth loving when you are slim, sexy, strong, have a Jaguar and are carrying a Luis Vuitton bag.
Focus on creating an unconditionally Loving relationship with yourself NOW!
Then then then you can create the body you want being driven by Self-Love instead of Self-Loathing. It’s much more motivating!
4. You are running away from something.
A lot of people create the life they do and the person they are running away from becoming like their parents.
As we are growing up under our parents roof there is a subconscious decision made to become our parents or that we are never going to be like them.
If you are running away from becoming your parents, the choices you make to create a heathy body are compromised. The reason for that is you are not deciding who you are going to be, you are only looking at what you don’t want to be.
I was very much that way. To be the example. My mother is morbidly obese. She was that way my whole life. I really don’t remember her being any other way. I saw how she lived her life and how the weight affected her. Another big factor for me was how people saw her. The way people looked at her when we went out shopping.
Seeing the quality of life, she didn’t have and the way she was judged by the world without really thinking about it, the subconscious decision was made.
“I AM NEVER GOING TO BE LIKE MY MOM”
Everything I did from that point on was so I wouldn’t be fat like my mom.
That didn’t change until my car accident in 2012. That was when I really had to learn to listen to by body and going on a journey to get to know my body to heal. With the doctors ready to write prescriptions for the symptoms and not offering me solutions, I had to own my power and find the answers myself.
Ever since then I have been driven by listening to my body, loving my vessel, learning what my body is composed of and what is starts to lack as I start to age. Then I go about figuring out how to give my body what it needs to it can stay in it’s prime.
I decided who I want to be instead of running away from the idea of being like my mother.
YOU HAVE NO DIRECTION!
Sit down and take the time to list all the things you like and don’t like about your parents. If you had grandparents or other figures that played a huge roll in your upbringing then make a list for them as well.
Look at those lists and decide what traits you like and want to keep. Collect all those positive traits and come up with more from others that you have come to admire. Create a clear picture of who you want to become.
Now you have a clear destination, and you can start creating a clear path to walk one step at a time towards your best self.
5. Your looking to an external source for answers.
We are taught to seek knowledge from an outside source as we are growing up. There are clearly things that we have to learn externally. Math, science, Copywriting, Medicine etc.
I am a big fan of learning. I am a course addict. I am always buying courses to take. It’s so easy to learn when there are so many great online resources.
However, there is a puzzle piece missing that is going to make it very difficult for you to really create the healthy body you so desperately desire.
No one ever taught you that on the path of health and wellness that it’s imperative to communicate with yourself. There are lots of fad diets out there. South Beach diet, Master Cleanse, Keto Diet, Fat Free diet, Low Calorie Diet, Paleo Diet and more…
All of these programs are great I am sure. They work for a lot of people which is why they are so popular. However, you are an individual which specific needs. What you need to thrive is something you have the answers to.
You can go about getting the answers by doing testing and working with professionals which is great. There is so much great technology out there that can give you all sorts of information about the state of your healthy and what you need to thrive.
I got a super cool scale that has an app attached to it and it records 17 different aspects of my body composition.
There is another great tool you can also use to optimize your health. Self-communication can be done using kinesiology or a pendulum, which ever works for you.
When communicating with yourself you can ask…
1. What foods your body wants.
2. What food it wants to eliminate.
3. What specific nutrition it needs to thrive.
4. You can check your supplements to see if they are the best for your body.
5. You can check your hydration levels.
6. You can also do a whole system check to make sure that all of the systems in your body are running smoothly.
I personally use self-communication daily to support my health and I also do a quietly Physical and Energetic Body Assessment every Solstice and Equinox.
In conclusion let’s look at the key puzzle pieces that will support your success. I want you to walk away from this feeling empowered and like you have a clear direction towards what you desire.
1. Create the body you desire from a place of self-love and surround yourself with a tribe that will support your ideas and cheer you on.
2. Create your own idea of what body you want to create based on the beautiful vessel you chose instead of letting someone else dictate what you should look like.
3. Love Yourself NOW, not when you reach your goal!
4. Create a clear vision of the person you are creating by assessing your parental figures.
5. Learn as much as you can externally AND MOST IMPORTANTLY SELF-COMMUNICATE!
Happy New Year & ALL THE LOVE!
Harmony Woodington C.Ht.
If you want to learn more about how to self-communicate you can reach out to to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.